Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Randomize
