...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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