i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I currently don't understand fingers.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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