Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
