hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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