i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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