She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
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