her vagine was all disorganized.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Randomize
