Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
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