ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
