After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
