ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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