I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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