Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
