i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Quick, to the slutcave!
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
