oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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