He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
