I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
