YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
