I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Randomize
