i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
