I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
