You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
you made out with another girl for some wings
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Randomize
