Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Randomize
