I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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