i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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