Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
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