Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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