I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
