hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
