I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
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