thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
