Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
