Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
