AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
