Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Randomize
