wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Randomize
