conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Randomize
