Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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