I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
