let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
