I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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