It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Randomize
