just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
