kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
