Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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