At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Randomize
