I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
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