Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
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