So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Randomize
