Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
